The Way Up is Down
Last weekend I had the opportunity to speak to the candidates/contestants of the Miss OklAhoma Pageant, along with some of the former Miss Oklahomas. The Lord gave me a very specific message, one that I believe not only applies to those amazing young women, but to us as well. It is this:
“ The Way Up is Down”
You may think, what do you mean by this…..”You can’t go down to get up, Jenni!” This goes against the basic physics of life!
So, What do I mean by “The way up is down”?
I am talking about upending the common understanding of success as defined by the current cultural standard of the day, which Webster says is the attainment of wealth, favor or eminence. To achieve this definition of success, we feel like we have to climb to the top in every area in our lives. We’ve been told that the only way to have value, is to be “the best”, jump the highest, reach the farthest, be the smartest, the most skilled, make the highest grade, make the most money, have the most followers on social media channels, constantly striving and striving and striving. But, statistically, it is impossible for everyone to be the best, right? And, I am submitting to you that maybe not everyone should. Maybe the standard for “success” is misconstrued.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t believe we should squander our gifts and talents and do nothing with them.
We should always give our best effort in everything we do- that honors us and honors the One who bestowed these gifts upon us. I teach my children this concept. But, I don’t believe the measurement of success in life is how much better than everyone else we are doing, but how much better we are helping others do.
You know we are a part of the “Me Culture”, right? The individualistic, it’s all about me society. We are supposed to do what makes ushappy, take selfies all the live long day, depend on no one, worry only about ourselves, be about our business, use our God-given talents and gifts to serve and advance ourselves.
Me, Me, Me.
Yikes. So self-focused.
But, what if itsnot supposed to be this way?
What if none of this life is actually about me? I know this isn’t popular. Counter-cultural even.
What if my God-given talents and gifts arent meant to serve me at all, but are actually meant to contribute to the greater good of those around me? What if the way up, is not how well I can do, but it is stooping down low to serve others? What if my measurement of success is how many people around me I help achieve theirs?
I know this flies in the face of everything that culture tells you to do.
I want you to picture a ladder. We are going to call this the “do you” ladder. Each rung of the ladder leading upward represents a self-focused thought: “Focus only on your dreams” “your goals”, “your path to success”, “your heart’s desires”, then you arrive to the proverbial top of the ladder, and you are all alone! No one is there to celebrate with you, you are happy and proud for a moment, but then the emptiness creeps in because you have no one to share it with! Only one person at a time can use a ladder! Let me tell you something, it is lonely at the top, and you weren’t made to be alone.
Now consider a human pyramid. Like the kind you may have done as a kid where you have maybe 4 kids on the bottom on their hands and knees, side by side. Then 3 climb on top of those foundational four. There may be some bony knees digging into backs, but its fine, all is fine. Its fine. And then you add two more friends on top of those 3, and finally one carefully climbs to the top. And hopefully doesn’t fall too quickly! They celebrate making it to the top, in fact all the kids celebrate that they all worked together to achieve this goal of the greatest human pyramid of all time! No one is mad at the person at the top because they all served a function to get them there. They brought what they could do to contribute and then they did such a good job that they break the pyramid down and do it again, this time with someone else on top. It’s a collective effort.
I promise, the way up, is down.
So what do you do with your talents and goals and gifts and dreams? They don’t go away. I am not saying that it is not ok to have dreams and goals. But what I am saying is if you aren’t only self-focused, but others-focused, you bless people along your journey. You serve those around you with your talents and gifts. You help people achieve their dreams and their goals and you do it together. You may just look up and find yourself at the top of that pyramid, but you didn’t have to scratch and claw and strive and only worry about yourself to get there. You did your best and brought your offering and you made something beautiful along the way and you enriched the lives of those around you and the world in the process.
Its much more rewarding and exciting this way. It is a much richer and fulfilling existence operating in the realm of servant leadership.
Studies show that serving others benefits us more than the receivers. Serving makes the giver experience higher levels of happiness, and higher levels of satisfaction with life and lower levels of depression. Those same studies show that we ,as humans flourish psychologically, emotionally, and socially when we do something kind for those around us. We are hard-wired for it.
So, its no wonder that there are more people than ever in history suffering through anxiety and depression and feelings of isolation. I believe that a very large contributor is that society has sold us the lie that it is all about us.
Our perspective and focus just needs to be shifted about 180 degrees from me to you and then we will see that the Way Up is truly down.
Winston Churchill said:
“We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson:
“It is one of the most beautiful compensations of life that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself. Serve and thou shall be served.”
Booker Washington said:
“If you want to lift yourself up, lift up someone else”
Ann McGee-Cooper said:
“The true heroes of the new millennium will be servant leaders, quietly working out of the spotlight to transform their world.”
Albert Pine:
“What we do for ourselves dies with us. What we do for others and the world, is and remains immortal.”
Martin Luther King Jr.
“Everybody can be great, because everybody can serve. You don’t have to have a college degree to serve. You don’t have to make your subject and your verb agree to serve. You only need a heart full of grace, and a soul generated by love.”
“So the last shall be first, and the first last: for many be called, but few chosen”. Matt. 20:16
“not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.”
Philippians 2:4
“In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’ ” Acts 20:35
“In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.” Matt. 5:16
“You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh ; rather, serve one another humbly in love.” Galatians 5:13
